that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
