Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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