Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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