"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
