why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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