if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
