he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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