You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
