yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
