Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
