dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
