Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
