VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
