just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
