either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
