If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
