Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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