my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
