The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
