hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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