I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
home. puking in laundry basket.
so let's talk penis.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
