I feel like I'm in dance class right now
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
