glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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