I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
