You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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