i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
