I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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