Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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