how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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