i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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