I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
