Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
