Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
