i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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