no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
