What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh god it's open bar.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
