Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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