He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
