I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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