I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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