yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
