Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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