Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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