Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
