Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
