i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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