Don't you send me to vm
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
