Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
