Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
