So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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