someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
