What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You may now shotgun with the bride
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
