You really coming over, don't trick.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
